Wednesday, March 16, 2011

TwentyTwo.of.Thirty

Day 22 – A letter to someone who has hurt you recently. A list of letters.


Dear bank account,

Why are you dry?


Dear Samson,

Why are you having such a hard time going to sleep these past few weeks? Why have you abandoned your perfect nightly snooze?


Dear Glee,

There seems to be a lot of homosexuality going on the last few weeks. I'm cool with that...I mean, whatev. But, can we keep the same sex kissing to a min? I can't take another second of my husband squealing like an embarrassed school girl.


Dear Emily Maynard,

I gotta say, I don't think you and Brad will last in the long run. You're much too insecure, and a bit wishy-washy. Don't be a fool, just love Brad. Oh, and I think you are the most beautiful female on earth.


Dear Ashley Herbert,

I probably won't watch your season. You're stupid.


Dear cupcake liner wreath,

Could you just finish yourself? I'm sorta over you.


Dear little baby giggle,

Please don't ever go away.


Dear Cadbury mini eggs,

I wasn't even into you until this year. Now I'm willing to get canker sores on my tongue just so I can enjoy your goodness over and over and over and over...


Dear Summer,

Get here fast! I've tasted a bit of your sweetness the last few days, and would give anything to feast upon your perfection.


Dear tankini-swimsuit-with-ample-tata-support-and-coverage,

Where are you? I hope you don't cost too much. Remember my bank account?


Dear Felicia,

As of tonight, your hair looks AMAZING thanks to my skills.


Dear Sparks, NV,

So excited to visit you and your tenants, the Romos, next month. Please grant us good weather, and the pixie dust necessary to make my baby act like an angel the whole time.


Dear stripes,

Please don't ever go out of style. I'm obsessed with you.


Dear Diet Coke,

Bless you for your constant companionship and loyalty.


Dear weird back,

Thank you for allowing me to move around today after that little stint you pulled a couple days ago when I bent down to clean up toys. The nerve (baaahh haha).


Dear greasy-gross-hair-of-mine,

Wash yourself, damn it.

1 comment:

Tiffany and Mike said...

Ha ha ha, I am pretty sure I laughed out loud at each of these...would you tell my greasy hair to do the same thing?

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